the clockstead



I hereby decree that this is where I will live someday. Except it’ll also be adorned with pink and blue and fuscia and violet and lavender Christmas lights. Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Apartment. Except…My Amazing Technicolor Apartment.

And the elevator will play U2’s “Elevation” when it’s going up and “Devil Went Down to Georgia” when it’s going the other direction. And it’ll have a disco ball in it.

Also, the clocks will work, but they’ll run backwards.

Shoes will not be permitted; I’m firmly with the Japanese on this.

Instead of boring normal sofas, there will be giant Totoro sofas.

Everything else is fine.

Oh, and I don’t know what city is out there, but it’ll be London, New York, and Tokyo when I have that apartment.

I plan on combing three countries in the future.

Also I want a water slide. And a jet ski. And an alpaca.

And I will call this place The Clockstead. Instead of homestead.

Good night!


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